BERT2011 (Bugger, Estrogen Receptive Tumor)….

Metastic breast cancer at 38

‘Twas the night before Christmas..,

Well Santas on his travels around the world and it is a time for wishes and thanks.. So here are mine.

Firstly I’d like to wish all my family and friends a very Merry Christmas, enjoy the time with your families, yes sometimes it can be tough, so many hours with family… But remember that if you could not spend the time with them you would miss them.

A quick update on my treatment…. My radiotherapy treatment is now set, and I’ve started! In fact I have only 6 treatments to go.. I’m having radiotherapy on my right femur and hip, and have been prescribed 10 treatments, we go every day as we did when I had treatment for breast cancer.. And go into a machine as before, it’s painless at the time however it’s an accumulative treatment so. I get tired and have more symptoms with each treatment. I’m glad to be doing something..

At the end of this year I’d like to just mention a few friends and family who have offered Andy and I tremendous support over the last few weeks with their time and kindness…

Mum & Dad, Steph & Phil… Thankyou so much for helping us with the meals, dog walking duties and taxi service… I know I get grumpy sometimes and don’t always show it, but we are very thankful to know that you are there when we need you. Bear with me…I’m a very independent person and not being able to do something for myself is incredibly frustrating.

Aunty Clare, yum yum!! The cakes are simply delicious, thankyou ( though I have to stop.. Weight loss begins in earnest now), and Tia has been loving walking with you and your dogs.. Thankyou so much xx

Paul, what can we say.. You have been an absolute rock for us, helping walk Tia and taking me to the hospital when Andy can’t… Means the world to us, thankyou.

Sarah B,… Our shopping escape was just wonderful.. Getting out of the house was such a treat, and taking me to physio was above and beyond… Thankyou.

Think that’s my thankyous for now, except to thank everyone for their comments and kind words on the blog.. Hearing from you all is lovely and gives me courage xx.

Now… Wishes… This year I have but one…. I wish for more Christmases to come please… And I’m willing to fight for them.

So, without further adieu…

Happy Christmas to all and to all.. For now… A good night. Xx

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Moving on up, moving on up!

Ok.. Movies now changed to song titles.. Thoughts I’ve not written on my blog for. Week or so and when I clicked the app on my ipad to write an update this song from M People popped into my head.. Seems apt.

Funny I remember going to see M People with my sister many eons ago, and both of us loved to sing and dance, couldn’t wait to go, how disappointed we were with their live show.. I must admit I get really upset these days at the musical industry that promotes those who cannot actually sing live! .

Anyway.. I digress… For all my friends, family and family living abroad it’s about time I gave an update… Firstly.. Love and hugs to you all.. And welcome and hello to all my new followers.. Have to say I am extremely humbled by all the kind words that everyone is sending me.. Really guys my blog really isn’t that interesting!! Seriously go out.. Get drunk it’s Christmas you have better things to do than read this! 😜

Not much happened in the last couple of weeks.. I am still awaiting my schedule for radiotherapy, bit of a mix up I think re the whole ” you refer her, no you do it” between my old and new oncologists.. But hopefully the new silver fox has it now in hand, after I emailed him whilst he was at a conference in San Fran ( as you do) and he replied to apologise and say all was in hand.. Thanks Prof!.

Had another of the EVIL ovary injections this week… Have to say.. Not half as painful when the lady administering has previous experience, so other than the.. Oh o we’ve not got your prescription, and hang on your notes have disappeared…. Sorry Susie, NHS between 2 hospitals hit a road bump this week… All in all a not too scary visit to the hospital this week. 1.5 hours later and 1 ovary blocker and 1 bone helper injection and good to go. Now taking calci-yummy tablets too.. Also apparently I need a healthy dose of vitaminD… What a shame we will need more sunny holidays!! Yay.

Conscious I’m perhaps rambling… On a different note to BERT, as many of you may know Andy and I bought a bungalow last year to knock down and rebuild a house… It’s been my life long dream to build my own home, as my father did for his family.. And post my last argument with BERT I convinced Andy what a great idea it would be…. So unable to buy land ( short supply) we bought a clapped out old bungalow in Ulley, heelllloooooo to my new friends in the village! …. And we have been battling for the last few months.. Ok since March!!! To get some plans through planning…. Still not going so well.. Apparently if you’d like to replace an ugly bungalow with a stone built house in a greenbelt isn’t quite as easy as you’d think… So this week has been quite stressful as we have drawn and re- drawn our plans several times.. Resubmission happened today,. And hopefully we will have a positive result in January… The last decision was a refusal… Keep your fingers crossed peeps… I need to rebuild so that we can have a ” I kicked BERT’s butt ” party!

It’s odd to think I’m writing on here again… When you stop treatment, the blog finishes. You think.. I’m done let’s get on with life… Yet I find myself here again… Hmm.. Well bear with me and my odd ramblings.

Merry Christmas to you all, and make sure you take the time to tell those around you, You love them.. Kiss the dog and get outside and enjoy the fresh air! Xx

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No fancy titles today… Just an update

Today was a big day for me… Meeting my new oncologist (‘ The Prof… Or now to be known as Louise’s Silver Fox’ ) and finding out ” the plan ”

When we we’re first diagnosed in 2011 it was all about.. Your young, we can cure this, let’s throw everything at you… So when cancer comes back it’s hard to get out of that mindset. At this moment in time.. My cancer is in curable …. Wow that’s a hard thing to write and say… But…. This is not the end…. It’s not curable.. That does not mean it’s not manageable … Reading the blog of a lady in the US the other day I just love the way she analyses it… ” the cancer can live in my body as long as it wants s, provided its a quiet tenant. And when it gets out of hand, we slap it down”… This embodies where I am.

The Prof, thinks that my best course of treatment, for now, is hormone therapy.. This means… Radio on my hip.. And NO chemo for now. I’ll have injections to strengthen my bones, and my ovaries will be removed… Next scans in 2 months to see how things are going.

How do I feel tonight… Hard to say.. You always want to fight fight fight for a cure… And you never know one may be just around the corner.. But for now.. Let’s keep it at bay till one arrives…. I’m happy to know no chemo for now… Life can resume as normal.. Well as normal as my life ever gets!

Awaiting my radio schedule.. And getting over my hip… But you know what… I’m Here. I’m kicking.. And most certainly screaming… BERT.. You know what.. It’s Christmas just bog off and we’ll speak again later.

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What will tomorrow bring?…

So tomorrow’s the day I meet my new Oncologist, and start to talk about my treatment plan…. I’m looking forwards to it as it’s nice to think that you are actively “doing something”… It’s also on the other hand nerve racking… Sync Andy said the other day, cancers like a silent killer.. I look fine, (well.. Normal!) and seem like anyone else.. Thats just had a hip replacement.. So seeing the Prof tomorrow kind of makes it all a bit real.

Just written my list of questions for him, have a lot to cover.

On another note.. Had my bandage off today and the remaining sutures removed.. Bit weird.. Whilst the dressings on you feel ‘safe’ like you can’t damage it.. When she took it off instantly I felt like I daren’t move in case I split it open!… Managed all day though without my insides falling outside so hopefully good to go.. 😃 hallelujah shower time!! I’m walking ok now, down to 1 crutch and working on the physio exercises.. Each day a little improvement.

Well, until tomorrow.. At least by the end of the day we should hopefully have a plan.

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