BERT2011 (Bugger, Estrogen Receptive Tumor)….

Metastic breast cancer at 38

Take a breath, and be thankful

Just spoken to my friend on the phone, who rang up to wish me well tomorrow in my surgery.. Ovary removal day tomorrow… And I said to her I’m sat here looking at a blank page and a curser wondering what to write…

What do you put on the night before a surgeon and a scalpel take away your chance to give birth…. So tonight on my blog I have 2 phrases for you…

“Take a breath”… I had a small 5 minute wobble earlier when driving to the shop for supplies… How cruel Cancer is and what it has and is about to take away from me… In 2011 Andy and I were married.. ( it was the best day of my life).. We thought we would have children within a year… BERT had other ideas… 2013 and we thought we had cancer behind us.. Time to build our dream home ready for us to have a child of our own… BERT again decided this was not to be… So for the 5 mins in the car tonight I was seriously p*ssed off at what cancer has taken away… Seriously cancer research pull your finger out its time we had a cure!! And hopefully nothing is being held back for ‘making money’ reasons. … So once I’d regained my composure and given myself a swift kick.. I had to ‘take a breath’ and remember that although life has dealt me several bad eggs.. It also has dealt me some good things..
Andy.. My soulmate and love of my life
My family who are there for me even when I’m grumpy
My true friends who are there when I need them
Tia… Simply … My child

Which brings me on to my second phrase… “Be thankful”… For all you parents out there and parents to be… Through the tough times and those moments when you could cheerfully “swing for them” ( not literally!)…. Think of me tonight.. I won’t get that chance… So instead of screaming at your child Hug them… Instead of getting angry give them a kiss and tell them you love them.. Really a messy bedroom, not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

Ok.. Preaching over…

Let’s get these oestrogen pumping things out of me.. Kick BERT back down and MOVE ON!

Sweet dreams all x

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The ups and downs of secondary cancers

So some great news and some …well… Un-nerving news today.

Good news… The tumours in my lung ( apparently 5 of not 2, I got it wrong before) have not changed size!!! Woohoo so this means that the Letrozole is working… So far so good.

Bad news.. There is an “indeterminate leision” in my liver which was not on the scans before, however this could be nothing and apparently can happen just because of the way the scans are done… So going back in 6 weeks to scan again and see if it’s grown… Hoping it’s just a cyst.

Sigh of relief though today about my lung tumours…. I had convinced myself that they would’ve grown so I feel immensely relieved tonight.

Here’s hoping that next time we go I only get good news 🙂

Thanks to everyone for the well wishes xxx

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Freaky..!

So.. This blog is for me to put down my thoughts on my journey with Cancer…so tonight…. I’m a bit freaked out it has to be said.

Tomorrow I get the CT scan results from my first scan since we found the tumours in my lungs… And I have to say I’m fairly freaked out in anticipation of what tomorrow will bring.

I’m so humbled by everyone calling me “brave” etc.. So tonight’s post is just to say that.. You know what this sh*t is scary and I! just like you all are not always brave ……Sometimes it’s pretty intimidating.

But whatever tomorrow brings I’m thankful for the life I have and hopefully will continue to have.

Here’s hoping that the lung tumours ( Bernadette and bernita) have stayed the same size tomorrow or even better they have shrunk.

Update tomorrow peeps xx

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