BERT2011 (Bugger, Estrogen Receptive Tumor)….

Metastic breast cancer at 38

Woohoo the fat lady has sung!!

The day has finally arrived!!!! My last day of treatment has now come and gone!!!! It’s hard to describe how I feel today…. Immensely elated at having finished treatment after 9.5 long hard months…. Now that it’s over I can say that… I’ve never wanted to moan or complain throughout my treatment as I think it just makes you feel worse and makes everyone else feel sorry for you, which was the last thing I wanted. But now that it’s over… Thank god!!!! Jeez it’s been tough, smiling when you don’t feel like it can get very wearying.

But now it’s done!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS it’s a wonderful wonderful feeling, no more traipsing to the hospital every day, not more thinking just another step to go, no more needles!!! No more hair loss ( hmm maybe selective hairloss would be nice!) … Huge smiles today.

There is one tiny part of me that’s scared today though… Whilst you are being treated its good, you can focus on ” it’s ok they are throwing everything at me, we are doing something” but now that’s it it’s slightly scary to think that apart from tamoxifen (estrogen blocking) tablets that that’s it… It’s the scary part of , is it gone? Will it come back?

But less about that and more about today… Going out for dinner tonight with my husband to celebrate, 🙂 Glad rags on!!!

I’d like to take this point to thank all my family and friends for their support throughout this journery… THANKYOU!!! Your kind words, thoughts and actions have meant the world to Andy and I and we humbley thank you from the bottom of our hearts..

A few important people to mention here….

Andy…. Babe it’s been a tough first year of marriage, you are my rock and I couldn’t have done this without you… Love you forever babe, only way is up xxx

Mum & Dad… Where to begin, thankyou thankyou for all the constant help, ironing, cooking, dog walking, trips to the hospital… You’ve been wonderful thankyou. x

Steph ( my mother in law) & Phil… You have really stood by us this last few months and I can’t tell you how thankful we are, trekking down to see us, taking me to chemo and just being there for us has been wonderful, thankyou x

Would also like to thank on mass the following…. Love you all and hopefully one day I can repay the favours….

Aunty Clare — the supply of home cooked meals has been too kind, and very much appreciated

Sarah, Alex, Kathy, Paul, Lorraine, Neil — for treating me as normal… And ignoring my upset at loosing my hair… The shaving party was great fun!

Emma D — so so very touched that this year when you have so so much on your plate you always found the time to come and see me to break up the day. Xxxx

Dan, — after years of not being in touch when the Sh*t hit the fan there you were popping in for a cuppa to brighten my day… Thankyou..

To all my overseas family, you know who you all are… I love you and thankyou so much for all the messaged and phone calls… Xxx

Erica… Thankyou for always being there, for taking me to lunch and just keeping me company… Can’t wait to be your bridemaid xxx

Anna…. Well what would I have done without you and your family for months!!! You, Henry Richard and Scarlett have kept me sane, the boredom of being at home all the time would’ve driven me nuts without our afternoon cuppas… Thankyou, will miss you terribly when we move.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten someone, thankyou everyone.

Ok so oscar speech over… 6 weeks till my next checkup now… So for now, thankyou and goodnight xx



Wig day!!!

Well the time has come to buy my wig… At £430 it’s not a cheap buy but my hair has been steadily coming out since Monday, I still have enough to look ok but it’s so thin and lifeless I think it’s more depressing than having none… Getting my wig styled now as i type this… What an odd sensation to be having your hair cut without actually being sat in the chair!! My new hair is in a different room!!

Can’t quite bring myself to shave mine off yet so think I’ll prob just wear the wig in the house for a couple days to get used to it… Then I’m guessing within the next few days the time will come when it really goes and andy will have to take his hair cutters to my head…

So photos shortly!!

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